Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Retro, Pseudo and Pocoyo

A few days ago, my childhood bestie posted a picture of our gang back in the day.
I cringed when I saw this pic.

Thing is, this wasn't me at my biggest.
Sure, you can say that it was like 13 years ago. Justin Beiber pun tak lahir lagi ( eh, yeke?) But on bad days, after I'm bloated from all the food that I practically inhaled, or when the numbers on the scale goes slightly up, I still feel like I'm the same girl times 100.

Last two days, I was almost shocked when I saw I've gained almost 3kgs from the weight I had during marathon training. I say almost because well I kinda expected it due to all my eating and comparatively less training but I was hoping the weight gain wouldn't happen. Pocoyo kan?
Trouble is, I'm still in my marathon carbo loading mode, even after a year.
Trouble is, back then, my running was complimented by weight training and strength exercises.
Trouble is, a year ago I was a health freak, counting my calories and almost became a pseudo-vegan (?).

I'm eating everything now. The once banned nasi goreng in my diet is back on the menu. Sure I still watch my portion sometimes.. But all the food around me seems soo gooood, it's kinda hard not to indulge.
Right now, as I'm writing this, I crave for an ice-blended cappuccino topped with vanilla ice-cream from Nelson's. Argh.

You may say, " 3kg is not worth all the drama" but for a person who was once overweight, this is kinda an issue.
I'm baring it all when i confess that sometimes I run just to keep the weight off. When I feel bloated, I run 6 times a week. Sometimes, after a 'heavy' meal, I'd go for a 2 mile run even after I've had a run earlier before. I know it's just junk miles, but at least, I think to myself, it'll burn some amount of calories.
How do I put it? It's like being unhealthy in a healthy way. It's not like I don't like running but it's like I like running for the wrong reasons.
Or is it the right?
I dunno.

Irony is, I know what's wrong and I know how to solve it. I just wish the numbers on the scale wouldn't be an issue throughout my life.
Even after 9 years of being in the 'normal' range and having a healthy (?) lifestyle, 8 years of marriage, 7 years of being a mommy, I sometimes still feel like the fat kid I was once before.
And it sucks, even it it's only  for a millisecond

Okay, I feel better letting this out.

On a lighter( no pun intended) note : Remember the graffiti In Taman Tasik Taiping I've posted before. After raya, we noticed that they've changed the graffiti to a Hari Raya theme. But last 2 weeks, somebody vandalized the whole graffiti and the creepy rabbit had the word f**k sprawled across its poor face.
Bodo punya mat rempit atau sape-sapela yang buat.

Before vandalism - creepy rabbit masih tulus, suci dan murni 

But last Saturday, when we were out running for the so-called 10 miler turned 10K in the rain, I've noticed they've re-done the graffitii. Yay! Bless those RUN TPG people, whoever they are.

  After - and they omitted the creepy rabbit!

Itu saje. 


  1. No komen on the weight gain since I'm still trying to lose the pounds I put on pregnancy time which was like 10years ago punyer cerita. huhuhu

    Tapi kan, rugi wooo kalau tak indulge makan best2. Kang kempunan, sapa susah. xD Never mind lah itu weight gain. keskeskes

    RUN TPG people sure do nice graffiti.

  2. i totally understand cos i am now like 5kg overweight and having so much trouble shedding it .. and i am missing loads of workouts that i do back in klang dengan senang hatinya ..nowadays kena paksa diri baru jadi .. lol .. good luck to us but hey with ur 3kg tu tak nampak lah if that's there already when i saw u kat PNM ..

  3. Lina: tu la..tak makan..rugi. Tambah if the kids tak habis, kena la habiskan..haha
    KJ: I'm trying to tell myself to only o lose 1kg- 1.5 kg. The other kgs tu halal je la sbb If I lose 3kg or more my colleagues/family would say I look skeletal..huahua. Just that I wish I'm not so focused on the scale so much.

  4. Macam ini awak boleh juga enrol jadi celebrity runner macam Syah. Masuk TV, masuk paper, masuk macam-macam lagi :]

  5. Diket: Takmao la, saya tidak potogenik, potogedik pun agak kureng.

  6. JJ - I feel you completely. And I thought I was the only psycho one overthinking about the food etc, and freaking out how it would all come back. The difference is I do little to stop them hahahaahah.
    Susah kan? Everyday I worry like crazy, Mental problem kah? (kena tanya dengan Doc Puisan ni).

    *Diket - ehemm! (celebrity by accident tak kira ok)

  7. syah: Right? I make a big fuss and promise I'll watch what I eat tapi satu minit lepas tu terus munch jajan..huahua
    Pui San will only advise us pro-bono now that she's in another department...terseliuh keting skarang boleh lajumpa dia.