Retro, Pseudo and Pocoyo

A few days ago, my childhood bestie posted a picture of our gang back in the day.
I cringed when I saw this pic.
Ugh.

Thing is, this wasn't me at my biggest.
Sure, you can say that it was like 13 years ago. Justin Beiber pun tak lahir lagi ( eh, yeke?) But on bad days, after I'm bloated from all the food that I practically inhaled, or when the numbers on the scale goes slightly up, I still feel like I'm the same girl times 100.

Last two days, I was almost shocked when I saw I've gained almost 3kgs from the weight I had during marathon training. I say almost because well I kinda expected it due to all my eating and comparatively less training but I was hoping the weight gain wouldn't happen. Pocoyo kan?
Trouble is, I'm still in my marathon carbo loading mode, even after a year.
Trouble is, back then, my running was complimented by weight training and strength exercises.
Trouble is, a year ago I was a health freak, counting my calories and almost became a pseudo-vegan (?).

I'm eating everything now. The once banned nasi goreng in my diet is back on the menu. Sure I still watch my portion sometimes.. But all the food around me seems soo gooood, it's kinda hard not to indulge.
Right now, as I'm writing this, I crave for an ice-blended cappuccino topped with vanilla ice-cream from Nelson's. Argh.

You may say, " 3kg is not worth all the drama" but for a person who was once overweight, this is kinda an issue.
I'm baring it all when i confess that sometimes I run just to keep the weight off. When I feel bloated, I run 6 times a week. Sometimes, after a 'heavy' meal, I'd go for a 2 mile run even after I've had a run earlier before. I know it's just junk miles, but at least, I think to myself, it'll burn some amount of calories.
How do I put it? It's like being unhealthy in a healthy way. It's not like I don't like running but it's like I like running for the wrong reasons.
Or is it the right?
I dunno.

Irony is, I know what's wrong and I know how to solve it. I just wish the numbers on the scale wouldn't be an issue throughout my life.
Even after 9 years of being in the 'normal' range and having a healthy (?) lifestyle, 8 years of marriage, 7 years of being a mommy, I sometimes still feel like the fat kid I was once before.
And it sucks, even it it's only  for a millisecond



Okay, I feel better letting this out.

On a lighter( no pun intended) note : Remember the graffiti In Taman Tasik Taiping I've posted before. After raya, we noticed that they've changed the graffiti to a Hari Raya theme. But last 2 weeks, somebody vandalized the whole graffiti and the creepy rabbit had the word f**k sprawled across its poor face.
Bodo punya mat rempit atau sape-sapela yang buat.

Before vandalism - creepy rabbit masih tulus, suci dan murni 

But last Saturday, when we were out running for the so-called 10 miler turned 10K in the rain, I've noticed they've re-done the graffitii. Yay! Bless those RUN TPG people, whoever they are.

  After - and they omitted the creepy rabbit!

Itu saje. 

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